On Substance Abuse - Red Ribbon Week

This week, in the US, we celebrate Red Ribbon Week.It is the nation's oldest and largest drug prevention program and it is celebrated on the last week of October. Usually, people honor this week by wearing a red ribbon to express their desire for a drug free world and making pledges to live a drug-free lifestyle. 

A little history on Red Ribbon Week: It was created as a tribute to Kiki Camarena, a DEA agent who dedicated his life to erradicate drug trafficking.  While in a mission in Mexico, Kiki was kidnapped, tortured and murdered by drug traffickers.  His death helped us realize the dangers and the international scope of drug trade.  It also has helped communities and invididuals to take a stand for the hopes and dreams of our society.

Red Ribbon Week serves as an educational tool for prevention - which is the most cost-effective approach to avoid drug use.

Unfortunately 6% of the US population over the ages of 12 use drugs.  It is important to understand that no one is immune from the consequences of substance use/abuse. It happens in every socio-economic level, every religion, race, ethnic background, and in every neighborhood. Every family is vulnerable and the consequences are catastrophic. Substance abuse affect every member of the family.  As parents and educators and society in general we must make a commitment to reduce substance use in children and adults!

Keep in mind - Addiction is Preventable!

Here is a great  PSA from CASA on how parents  ( the MOST influential people in a child's life)  can decrease the likelihood that their kids will use drugs. TALK

Children See, Children Do

On Parenting - How to raise triumphant children

On a different by most important note!

A few centuries ago a famous Greek thinker said: “The only permanent thing is that we live in a world of change”. We must prepare our children for the world of the future, not the world of our parents' or our own. In today's world, their character will be the decisive factor for success, not just knowledge, like many of us could believe. To be calm in difficult situations, to get out from failures properly, to make failures a challenge, not a tragedy ... those are the qualities that recruiters will look for.

For the self-employed, it will be a self-imposed necessity.

A child will build his or her character when parental authority is clearly perceived. With the presence of authority, children and young people will act with authority to resolve their problems, they will act on determination. Without the presence of authority, our children will be weak in character and will act on impulse with subsequent problems to adapt.

Excess of authority? Excess is always better than lack of authority. The limit of authority is restricted by the following rule: “Authority should not humiliate”. Basically, the child or young person of today will be tomorrow's adult. From time to time, we must look at our children like potential adults. 

We don't want our children to suffer? Then, we must prepare them how to suffer. We cannot let them avoid any possible suffering at all times, if not, when will they learn? They must understand death, life problems, problems in dealing with their fellows. We should not solve all their problems. We must help them to gradually resolve the problems by themselves. No successful, long-term goals are ever achieved without some suffering. Can anyone imagine a champion athlete who does not suffer to break records? This applies to all types of champions and all forms of activity. We always think in part that we do not want them to suffer so that we will not suffer, but we can be damaging them for the future.

They must be taught to make additional efforts. Let them know that one can  always do a little more. Remember that no one harvests their crop without planting many seeds and fertilizing a lot of land. 

It is very important to teach them to lack things, that is not to have enough of something and to have to fend for themselves. There are kids who do not practice their sport if they are not wearing “brand” name shoes. If you do not learn to lack, you do not learn how to get by. Even if we can give them 100%, children must know the value of things. If they don't do this as children, it will be very difficult as adults, and then they will suffer, and we will suffer with them too. How do we teach them to go without? By giving them a little less than they need! There is no other way! How else can they feel the lack of something? This is how they learn to appreciate what they have. They learn not to be ungrateful. They learn to enjoy life because many times you can enjoy the simple things. They can learn how not to be complainers. An excellent school to learn to how to lack something (without dying in the attempt) is at our table at home, food. What should we feed them? What we decide is good for them! It is not just for the good of their stomachs, but this is an excellent way to learn to lack, to not be ungrateful, to not be complainers. “Mom ... I do not like lentils”.  If you want to give them something good in life, then give them lentils. There will be tantrums, but do not exalt authority (do not yell), they do not have to eat if they don't want to, but when they feel hungry again: Surprise! ... Heated up lentils from the fridge!

It seems incredible, but if we do not do this sort of thing, they will not be adapted. Food is a good school for understanding this concept, and in this way they will not be so picky in their social relationships, at work and in the real world.

We must also educate them in service. A normal family is a team with a few tasks: making beds, cleaning rooms, washing dishes, painting the house, etc. We must educate them to perform household tasks, although at first they do them badly. If they do not do this type of service, then they will have problems. The best leadership schools in the world teach young people to lack, so that they know and understand the world and they can lead it.

Allowance? It should be a fixed amount, weekly,  and  less than they think they need. In this way, they will learn how to manage money. Of course exceptions must be accepted, but talked about in a calm fashion.

We should build our children to be fighters, not overprotected weaklings. Let them surpass themselves. Let them take problems as challenges for improvement. Remember that no one can go up high with a single flight. They should also be excited about ideals, future goals, dreams to be good at heart. It is also important to be convinced that winning is not the same as “money or property”, winners are those who are happy with what they do with their lives. Only then will they make others happy.

Children with a mild nature, who know what it is to lack, who are trained to help others and are full of love and dreams will be children who triumph.

Parents have the great responsibility of raising children to transform our country into one where there is freedom, abundance, justice and, above all, happiness.

Luis Baba Nakao

Am I a batterer?

Since we started working with domestic violence abusers that have been court order, it is a common theme that they have a very difficult time identifying themselves as batterers.  These men typically think that batterers are those who inflict horrific "physical" abuse on their victims.  It is our role to teach these men that abuse is a continuum. It begins with with small acts of control and put downs and then escalates to more serious events. It is also important that these men understand that batterers are not always physically violent (although most cases are), but instead it can be emotional, psychological, economic, sexual.  If you have ever questioned yourself if you are a batterer, answer the following questions:

 Have you ever hit, pushed, grabbed, slapped or threatened your partner, or frightened or intimidated your partner in any way?

Has your partner said she’s afraid of you, or shown fear in other ways?          

Are your children afraid of you?

Do you frequently insult your partner, call her names, put her down or say things that make her feel uncomfortable?      

Do you often pressure her to do things your way, even if she doesn’t want to?

Does she complain that you are trying to control her life?    

When you treat her badly, do you consider it her fault? Do you blame it on alcohol, stress or family problems?        

Have you cheated on her? 

Have you ever been accused of mistreating your children?   

          

Has your partner complained about jealous or possessive behavior on your part?  

Are you the only one who can control or have access to the money?

Have you told her that you don't like her family and friends so she stopped seeing them?

If your answer is "YES" to any of these questions, you may benefit from a batterer intervention program. Once a person has abusive and controlling tendencies, he has a problem that is likely to get worse. Men often feel guilty and apologetic after an abusive incident, and many promise themselves and their partners that they will change. Unfortunately, even with the best intentions, most do not stop being abusive without outside assistance.