Sometimes reaching out to someone you suspect of being a victim of domestic violence is as simple as leaving a phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-SAFE (799-7233). If the threat appears imminent, call 911. If your suspicions are less clear, here are some things you can say to the victim:
• “I’m worried about you. Is everything OK?”
• “I care about you. Here’s a phone number (1-800-799-SAFE) or a Web site ... “The site at www.ndvh.org provides state-by-state resources.
• “I’m concerned for your safety. This isn’t OK, and it’s not your fault. When you’re ready to leave, here’s a phone number of people who can help you.”
• Don’t have an agenda that includes having the person leave the abuser, and don’t say things such as, “I don’t see how you can stay with that guy.” Understand that leaving is a process. Whatever words you use, communicate that you care, that abuse – whether verbal, emotional or physical – is wrong, that the victim is not to blame and that there are resources that can help.
• Ask the victim what he or she needs. Ask what would be of help. Break the Silence About Violence; Friends, Co-Workers Can Help Domestic-Abuse Victims
• Helping doesn’t mean you have to fix the situation. Professional resources are available to help. It’s enough to let the victim know she’s not alone and that there are resources for various needs: shelter, legal advice, financial assistance, employment and educational services, and counseling for her and her children.
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