At CMET we offer the BIP group specifically designed for men who abuse their partners. Some people may ask: "what constitutes abuse?" Abuse comes in many different forms, it is not only the most obvious - physical- such as punching, kicking, slaping, pushing, shoving, chocking, etc. Abuse is also psychological, sexual, economic, mental/emotional abuse. Many women who have endured an abusive relationship, report that the worst and most damaging type is the emotional abuse. The women are broken down to their lowest point by their men who constantly insult, denigrate, belittle, and objectify their partners causing longer term damage. Men who attend our groups learn about the Power and Control Wheel. It contains eight areas of abusive behaviors. Using emotinal abuse includes: putting her down, making her feel bad about herself, calling her names, making her think she is crazy, playing mind games, humiliating her and making her feel guilty. The goal for the group is men to learn the other side of the wheel, which is the Equality Wheel and apply Respect as a form of eliminating faulty behaviors. Examples of Respect are: listening to her non-judgementally, being emotionally affirming and understanding and valuing opinions.
In my experience working with men in the BIP group, I can say that men can change once their beliefs are challenged and they accept their responsibility for the aggression. Some men understand the relationship of having witnessed domestic violence as a child and the impact/damage it has caused in their life and in the lives of those around them.
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